New Year's Eve
by InsaneCreation
Summary: psst. Hey you, do you wanna read how drunk the twins get on New Year's Eve? Do you want to see one of them get so wasted they purpose to inanimate objects? Then you should read this! They're a little OOC, sorry. Prequel to Awkward Party. DxLxV oneshot


Hey everyone, how are you doing?.. Very wierd question to ask, I know, and I don't care. Well, people were tellin' me that I should write about the "wonderful" night Dante, Vergil, and Lady had on New Year's Eve... That and because I didn't put much detail in Awkward Party. Anyhow, here's the prequel. Oh, yeah, there will be no, uh, explicit content in here. Nope, I'm not doing any more of that stuff, the last oneshots were just practice, and I now know that isn't my thing. Also, there's been a change of setting, I think in AP, it took place at her apartment, whereas this one takes place at the DMC shop. Sorry, but I'm not gonna fix that,.. .Too much work at the moment. I still hope you enjoy it, though. Oh, yeah, let me know of any mistakes in here. I gotta start taking care of and fixing up these pieces of crap called my fanfics.

I don't, in any way, own Devil May Cry. Hideki Kamiya does, so let's all praise him.

Dante strode through the inky black night on December 31. Not surprsing to him, though, he had a job tonight, and he managed to complete it in 15 minutes flat.

He scoffed. "Typical. Demons never seem to have a day off. Including me... Ahh... Ahh... Ahh- Choo!!" He sniffed. It was cold outside, and yet he still chose to take the job wearing only his red trenchcoat, his green pants and his boots. Never considered wearing a shirt under it. He paid the price for not thinking, though. Tonight he had caught a cold, but nothing a little medicine wouldn't cure.

As he neared his shop, he noticed one of the letters in his neon red-pink sign right above the door was flickering on and off. _Didn't see that before. I gotta fix that tomorrow._ He walked to the door and stepped inside.

"Hey, Lady! You here?" He asked the empty room. When he recieved no reply, he shrugged and treaded to the jukebox and pushed one of the buttons. It didn't start up. He pushed the button again, but no success. He growled and pressed it one more time. Nothing.

"Rrrrgh... Stupid piece of shit!!!" He spat and kicked the jukebox violently until it started up.

Satisfied with his action, he sighed and walked to the leather couch in the corner of his office.

Listening to the music, he relaxed on the couch, arms resting behind his head. After a few minutes passed, he heard the light sound of footsteps upstairs, gradually making their way down.

"Home already?" Lady towered over Dante, hands on her hips, "How'd it go?" She sat on the coffee table, waiting for a reply.

He sniffed. "How do you think?" Sitting up, he scratched the back of his head by force of habit. Lady rolled her eyes, sitting beside him on the couch now.

"Could I get an answer that doesn't sound like you're in a pissy mood?"

"You could try to get one out of me." He smirked. Dante looked around the empty room again, "Say, where's tall, pale, and gruesome?"

"Um, I think he went out with Enzo."

He laughed. "I knew something wasn't right in Vergil's head. Nice to know he came to me to talk about his 'guy problems'. I mean, I could've hooked him up with one of the male strippers down at the Love Planet. If they can't have me, I'm pretty sure they'll be grateful to have someone that looks like me. It's just low to hear that he's datin' Enzo." Dante walked over to the fridge to grab a beer.

"Don't be an ass. They went out to pick up the money from the last job from a couple of days ago." she pondered for a bit. "You're not going to make resolutions for the New Year?"

"No." He popped the top of the can and chugged it down in less than a minute.

Just then, he heard shouts ans slurs outside his door, then, _BANG! _The door swings open and slams against the wall. The two devil hunters turned their heads calmly, as if not bothered the loud entry.

"Hey, Dante!!! Happy New Year!! Nice to see you got home safely."

"Enzo--"

"Ciao." Enzo's cheeks were flushed red, and he carried about four brown paper bags in his arms. Trailing behind him was Vergil, whom looked very aggravated.

"... Okay... It's New Year's Eve, dumbass. Not New Year's Day."

"Loud and as disgusting as ever, Enzo..." Lady muttered off topic. She hung and shook her head shamefully.

"The lovely Lady is here!!! Isn't this a surprise?.. W-Wait, why are there two of you? Do you have a sister that I don't know about?" Ignoring Dante's correction,

he staggered some towards her, then screeched gleefully, "I'm sorry, I don't know my manners, I'm just gonna--"

"Enough of your drunk episode, Enzo. You can go now." Dante shooed him away with a hand gesture.

"I'm sorry, miss. Are you upset that I didn't greet you first?" Dante stared down at the short Italian man as he reached for his hand to stroke it in his own two. He raised an eyebrow at him, then smashed the can on his forehead. Enzo flinched, and fell on the floor.

"Oh, quit it! I'm shy!!" Dante squeaked in his most feminine voice he could muster up and fanned himself.

"Aw, baby! Don't be like that!" He stood on his knees and begged before Dante. "I know you're shy an' all, but you'll get over it! I promise I'll be the most responsible person in our future! I'll even help out with Junior, here!" He pointed a thumb behind him to Vergil.

His eyes widened at the remark and he slowly walked upstairs, avoiding the fact he was called his son. He just knew he didn't want to partake in this scene... Then again, sitting at the sidelines, watching the two idiots makes total fools of themselves didn't seem so horrible, either. He stopped at the fourth stair and walked back down to take a seat at the chair behind the office desk.

"But, Enzo, dear, you know I'm not ready for commitment! Besides, this just isn't working out!" He turned his back to him and pretended to sob. His shoulders heaved violently as he put on his act.

"Oh, sweetie, don't cry!" He looked around frantically for something to stop "her" from sobbing. At last he found the bags he had dropped on the floor and reached into one. "Look! I got you expensive French champagne!" He held up a bottle of booze, its amber contents splashing against its glass shield.

"Ohh, Enzo! You make me feel so special!" He stopped his fake crying almost immdiately and snatched the bottle from his hands. "Now, I need you to go pick up some milk for Junior. He's been whining all day."

"Of course, sweetie." He pecked Dante on the lips then ran out the door. Dante held back his bile as he waited for the drunk to leave. As the door slammed, he shoved the bottle into Lady's hands and raced for the bathroom. A moment later, they both listened intently to his barfing and the splattering of the vomit in the toilet bowl. Lady laughed quietly in her seat as Vergil smiled evilly at the door.

The toilet flushing was the last thing they heard before Dante walked out of the bathroom, holding his stomach. His eyes were huge with horror as if he had just seen all the liquor in the world disappear.

"Nice one, though I think you took it too far with the kiss."

"Shall we unite you both under holy matrimony, brother?"

"Ha ha ha, Vergil. Very funny." He flipped his brother the bird. Walking his way to Lady, he took back the bottle of amber fluid, opened it, and drank. "Christ, what a way to spend New Year's Eve. Grab a bottle, you two, and prepare for the buzz of your life." He took another swig of the bottle and leaned back into the couch.

**Dante-**

"Youuuu... arrrreee... ssssooooooo... sssexxxy..." Dante slurred into the woman's ear, yet she sat still and smiled at him. The woman had silver hair as well, he noticed, and for every perverted remark he made, she didn't kick him in the nuts or vomit out abusive words to him. "How about we..?... Oh, wait, sorry. H- hold on a second." He turned to the other woman next to him and kissed her. "Don't worry, babe. You know how important you are to me." He whispered to the to the tanned woman's ear and kissed her again.

**Regular POV-**

"Wow... He really is wasted." Lady muffled a guffaw with her free hand as she poured shots for herself and Vergil.

"Apparently so." Vergil's smile grew more wicked as he watched his little brother become intimate with a mop and his drink. "If only I had a camera..." Lady set the small glass in front of him. They hadn't begun their drinking yet, as they were too into Dante's date with a cleaning tool and bottle. He looked down at the small glass with a bland expression.

"You expect me to drink this insignifcant amount?" He pointed at the shot and raised his eyes to look at her heinously, not moving his head an inch.

"It's strong, Vergil. Very strong. I assure you, you might want to take the shot rather than the whole thing. Unless you want to end up like casanova over there." They both looked at him one final time.

"You know what? Screw Enzo, that fat homo. He ain't comin' back. Will ya do me the honor of marryin' me?" He wobbled around before falling completely on the floor, hitting his head on the table. "I'm okay! I think I might've hit a blood vessel, but I'm okay!" He announced to no one in particular, waving a finger in the air before it dropped.

"Nonsense. I can hold my own drink, Lady. Not like the bafoon in the corner." He reached for the bottle of vodka in front of Lady.

"Okay, if you say so." She downed her shot as Vergil finished the whole bottle in minutes. The fiery liquid burned as it ran down his throat, making him want to throw up. Surprisingly, Dante had crawled to the office desk they sat at and shoved another bottle of alcohol into his mouth when he threw the empty one aside. Vergil was wide-eyed, trying to push his brother away from him, but it was no use. The world around him swayed back and forth, zooming in and out.

"D.. Dante.. an'... you...," He pointed to Lady," ...A-and the rest of you... St... st...stop moving around..." He slumped in his chair and fell unconscious, head thrown over the back of the seat. Still Dante poured the rest of the contents into his mouth until it spilled out of it and seeped into his clothes. Vergil fell back as the chair gave in from being only propped on two of its legs, and the back of his head hit the ground first, doubtless it was going to cause him more pain in the morning.

Lady leaned over the desktop. "Told you it was strong."

She backed away before Dante let his body drop onto the desktop. His hair hung over his face, and eventually became drenched in saliva when he fell asleep.

Lady groaned. She was the only one who knew not to overdo it on the alcohol. The other two, however... She sighed since she was going to be the one to pick up the mess, including the two drunks. She dealt with them, first. It was no walk in the park, though. She, being a petite, small young woman, having to carry the twins back to their rooms, being so tall and heavy with muscle and their clothing.

She carried Vergil up first. A definite pain in the ass since he didn't bother to wake himself up, and she had to practically drag him up the stairs. She kicked open his door and dropped him on his bed, face first. No sound came from him whatsoever. She rested for a while, then left to retrieve his little brother. He tossed and turned on the desk, muttering unintelligible words.

Finally, she reached his room, and dropped him onto his bed as well. She sat on his bed, regaining her lost strength after lugging the two half demons up to bed. She laid back on hi bed for a while, resting her eyes. She felt something wrap around her, though, which caused her eyes to shoot open. Dante had turned on his side and brought her closer, now awake and staring straight at her.

"You're up?! You better not tell me you were up when I had to drag your ass upstairs!" Desperately trying to claw out of Dante's grasps, she cursed and kicked him repeatedly.

"Stop." He demanded. She followed his command. It wasn't so much that he told her to, but the way he said it. It was stern and serious, not like Dante at all. She stared into his ice-blue eyes, not saying a word. What was up with him? He's not himself, she thought. "Stay here. Don't move." Hesitating for a moment, she finally nodded very slowly. He sat up and shedded off his coat, then laid back down on the bed next to Lady. Once again, he wrapped his arm around her and brought her closer to him. Letting out a relieved sigh, he closed his eyes and breathed her scent in.

She looked back up at him. "Dante..? What's wrong??"

Looking down at her, he simply stared. _Something's not right. Since when does he act so calm and quiet? I usually have a hard time shutting him up._ Dante leaned his head closer to her face, and then...

"Ahh, Achoo!!" Snot and spit covered her face in tiny little droplets. He sniffled and wiped away any snot on himself. "I caught a cold today." She graoned in dusgust and cleaned her face off with her sleeve.

As Dante apologized to her, their attention was soon toward the door. Vergil stood in the doorway, not uttering a word. His jacket was off, too, not to mention his vest he always wore under it. Groggily, he rubbed his eyes and yawned, then lay down on the right side of Lady.

Vergil placed his arm around Lady, and barely whispered, "It's midnight... Happy New Year... Here's your present, and our New Year's resolution..."

"Wha--???"

"Our resolution was to be more... sharing and caring with you." He whispered in her ear.

"What?! Get away from me!"

"Not a chance..." Vergil propped himself on his elbow.

"You're all ours for the rest of the night, Lady." Dante followed his brother's towering position.

"But wh- what happened with the mop, Dante?!"

"Eh, she wasn't that great of a screamer." They both kissed her cheek, and chuckled as they dove under the blankets.

COR-NY!!!!! That definitely screamed cliche, sorry!

So... Was it any good? I've no clue, and as you can see by my limited vocabulary, spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, I'm still a beginner writer, but I oh- so enjoy it and will do my best to get better at it. Review and inform me of any mistakes in the fic, as I said before.


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